I have examined myself lately with more care than formerly, and find, that to deaden is not to calm the mind – Aiming at tranquility, I have almost destroyed all the energy of my soul – almost rooted out what renders it estimable – Yes, I have damped that enthusiasm of character, which converts the grossest materials into a fuel, that imperceptibly feeds hopes, which aspire above common enjoyment. Despair, since the birth of my child, has rendered me stupid – soul and body seemed to be fading away before the withering touch of disappointment. If she avoids sad feelings, all feeling goes. And she is starting to suspect that her feelings are what lend her work power.